Two years and one day ago my wife Kathryn, our granddaughter Katy and I had a life changing experience. We were waiting on Highway 16 to turn onto McRae when we were struck from behind about two blocks from home. The impact drove us probably 200 feet across the right lane, where we jumped the curb and struck another vehicle and came to rest against a strong sign that saved us from diving further into a field many feet below.
I had a slight concussion, Katy had minor injuries, and Kathryn experienced a hemorrhage in her brain, a broken ankle, a fractured back and a collapsed lung. I am convinced that there was much much more severe trauma to vital organs. Oh yes; our vehicle was totaled.
It was months before Kathryn got out of the hospital and more months dealing with severe pain, further complications and intermittent hospitalizations. Pain returned to the same location in Dec. 2010. We were to discover later that this was pain from a sick gall bladder. In early April she was admitted to the hospital, where a large gall stone was removed, and on April 25, she had her gall bladder removed. That was the beginning of a series of further complications, including stroke, bleeding liver and recurrent lung congestion complicated by congestive heard disease.
After the accident I reflected on what can be learned from afflictions. I had a lot of time sitting, waiting, praying, hoping in the hospital. Here are some of my thoughts.
There is much value in a loving caring church family. This has been a wonderful blessing. Our Church has anointed us with love beyond what we could ask.
I reflected on the source of our afflictions. Elihu, one of Job's friends stated in Job. 37.23 that “He (God) will not afflict." The Psalmist referred to the wicked who “break in pieces thy people and afflict thine heritage." (Psalm 29.2-5)
So I'm hesitant to say that God did this. We live in a fallen world. But it does seem to be allowed. He did “lightly afflict Zebulon and Naphtali and grievously afflict those by the sea beyond Jordan." (Jer. 31:28) Even so, Job was praised for not accusing God foolishly.
I have found comfort in Lam. 3:33: “He doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men. “For he hath not despised nor abhorred the afflictions of the afflicted, neither hath he hidden his eye from them. But when we cried unto him he heard.”
Paul experienced great afflictions. I want to imitate his attitude. “I would that ye should understand brethren, that the things which happened unto me have fallen out (turned out) rather unto the furtherance of the gospel.” (Philippians 1.12)
And so, I'm trying to learn that how we behave during our trials and afflictions has much to do with our being pleasing to God. I can whine, complain with no benefit, or I can be like Zelophehad who was said to have died of his own sins. (Numbers . 27:1-3) He took responsibility for his own life.
But I read about Paul's afflictions and am inspired to follow him. Just look at the list in II Cor. 11:24-30. Beaten with metal, glass, stone and bones, stoned, shipwrecked, traveled many miles (much of it on foot), experienced floods, dangers from robbers, dangers from his own people, dangers from the gentiles, caught up in mobs and riots, facing death in the desert, dangers from those who falsely claimed to be brothers, wearisome, dark, sleepless night, hungry, thirsty, and cold.
Paul's attitude about all this can be summed up in the following words: "For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, works for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;, While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal." (II Cor. 4:17-18)
Light affliction. Light affliction? We have trouble with that don't we? I don't know how Paul could take such an attitude except for the fact that his life was so wrapped up in the life of Jesus that nothing could come before that. Nothing else mattered, so afflictions were light.
Now here we are. Kathryn has experienced tremendous pain for two years. Pain that continued to plague when apparently the pain from the accident subsided. Then additional pain in the form of gall stone and gallbladder disease. On top of that a stroke. Yet Paul seems to say that this affliction is light, and I'm not the one in pain. It doesn't seem light to me when my wife of 58 yeas is suffering. But Paul refers to our affliction as light. How can this be light?
Our afflictions are light compared to what others are or have suffered. Our afflictions are light compared to what we deserve. "For it is by grace that ye are saved.” (Eph 2:8-10) Our afflictions are light as we experience the sustaining power of God's Grace. Our afflictions are light compared to what Jesus suffered for us; Hebrews 12:3 tells us to consider Jesus "lest you be wearied and faint in your minds." Our afflictions are light compared to the blessings we enjoy now and those we will enjoy later. (These are some of the things that are not seen.) Our afflictions are light when we see the glory that they lead us to.
But this takes faith. “We do not look at things which are seen, but at things that are unseen.” We have to see the unseen by faith, for we walk by faith and not by sight. When you and I look at our pain, misery and our afflictions, they become larger and larger. You can put a penny over your eye and block the sun, but it's still there.
We've got to walk by faith. See the unseen--the things that make no sense to the world--and gradually begin to appreciate that in comparison to this “eternal weight of glory," our tribulations are light.
I began writing the above after Kathryn had a stroke, late April-early May. No one knew what was in store. She later had a bleed in her liver, followed by three months of fluid build up in her lungs that her congested heart could not remove. These cycles continued over and over until finally, on August 9, 2011, even though she was stubbornly holding on to life.while her children and grandchildren and I stood around her bed and sang, she shed a few tears (her way of telling us goodbye) and simply stopped breathing.
MOMENTARY AFFLICTIONS
Kathryn's momentary afflictions are now over. Whether you take the view that she is now or will be in the presence of her creator or the view that death ends it all, her afflictions are over. I prefer to believe she's with Jesus. Either way, her afflictions are finished. Somehow, I struggle now, trying to rejoice and be happy that she has won her battle and is in glory. But that is my own selfish loss.
"Oh, How I Miss You Tonight," a popular song published in 1925, recorded by Frank Sinatra, Doris Day,and a Jim Reeves/Deborah Allen duet, comes to my mind often. It was about a break-up of lovers; the break-up I have experienced has been very hurtful. I do miss Kathryn. But I have to bring my selfish mind back to the thought that Paul expressed: these afflictions are momentary. If my wife of almost 59 years, suffering as she did for so long, has learned that they were momentary (and I believe she has), then I can live with the separation from her as my lifelong companion and look forward to the monumental weight of glory that this affliction points me to, and to a reunion with her some day. I say that, but no one knows how it sticks in my throat.
Still I try to imitate Paul: ”Wherefore we faint not; but though our outward man is decaying, yet our inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is for the moment, worketh for us more and more exceedingly an eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (II Cor. 4:16-18)
Kathryn experienced her “momentary light affliction;” I'm still in mine. I can be like King David who knew that he could not bring back his child but he could (some day) go to be with that child in the afterlife. What did Paul say, “we walk by faith and not by sight. I can moan and groan, feel sorry for myself, even resent that she's gone. But that is not useful. In the end I'll be worse off by making myself miserable.
It will be much better if I focus on what the afflictions accomplish. God did not bring these afflictions on Kathryn. We live in a world that is not yet redeemed. We were hit from behind by a vehicle larger than our Toyota Sienna. Someone in that truck was not as attentive as they should have been. The physical laws that govern this world brought about massive injuries to my wife. I could be angry at God for so designing this world. I could be angry with the person who broke those laws. But where would that take me? I would end up being a very unlovable, resentful, angry and unlikable person. That's not what I want, nor is it what God wants.
God wants to point me to the “eternal weight of glory.” That's where Kathryn is. That is where I want to be when my time comes. And as Kathryn fought for her life to the bitter end, so will I. And while I live the remainder of my life I will focus on the “eternal weight of glory” that Paul speaks of. I will learn how to realize that what God has in store for me is so far greater, grander, more marvelous, heavier than this temporary affliction that there is no comparison.
Paul would say, “Look at it this way, this affliction is but for a moment.” Even a hundred years of suffering is but a drop in the bucket compared to the scale of eternity.”
